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国外也有段子手:保索大业,红军已经尽力了!

西江月-song 10-21 19:00

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的国际赛场精彩看点层出不穷,曼联主场与利物浦战平,巴萨取胜升至榜首,皇马、马竞、拜仁纷纷丢分,而切尔西、曼城、尤文等豪门则顺利取胜。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们精彩吐槽吧!

拉师傅拉拉纳进球,曼联1-1利物浦

ZxZxchoc(未知主队球迷):为了留住索尔斯克亚,利物浦已经尽力了…(Liverpool doing all they can to keep Ole in place.)

Hamez_Milnerinho(未知主队球迷):也可以算是利物浦这赛季的高光时刻了!(And giving them their season's highlight as well.)

Estoutwest(曼城球迷):为了不让索帅下课,利物浦献祭了宝贵的两分,值得尊敬!(Liverpool sacrificing 2 points to keep Ole at the wheel , respect.)

Nickoboosh(利物浦球迷):你们也得回敬这份礼才好呢!(Would be appreciated if you returned the favour.)

KapSan1(巴萨球迷):在这球之前,拉拉纳都已经两年半没有进球了…克洛普这换人真是天才!(Lallana of all people, scoring his first goal in two and a half years and it had to be in this game. Klopp with another master sub lol.)

9039039(喀麦隆球迷):现在就等弗雷德进绝杀球啦!(This is setting up nicely for a winner by King Fred.)

HelpMyArmsFellOff(未知主队球迷):克洛普绝对是宇宙级的大脑!把拉拉纳晾在一边好几年,就是为了今天的进球!(The absolute galaxy brain move of keeping Lallana around for years just for his moment.)

SurreptitiousNoun(利物浦球迷):特制版的奥里吉!(The Origi special.)

Diffios3(巴萨球迷):好了,你不要再说了...(Oh stop please…)

Holdthesis(曼联球迷):这就是老特拉福德,任何球队都别想在这里全身而退!包括我们自己。(So this is the Old Trafford, everyone would got sucked here, including us.)

Masonbrit(切尔西球迷):罗霍在场上就像是在购物商场迷路瞎逛的小孩儿一样…(Rojo looked like a child lost in a shopping center wandering aimlessly.)

DarkSofter(曼联球迷):想象一下,你们竟然和派弗雷德出场的保级球队踢平…(Imagine drawing to a relegation team who plays Fred.)

IanCaesars(利物浦球迷):但你们有超级替补马丁-阿特金森啊!(Martin Atkinson was a good sub though.)

MSG齐进球,巴萨3-0埃瓦尔

Bola03(皇马球迷):据荷马史诗记载,巴尔韦德是个好教练。(According to Homeric Hymns, Valverde is a good coach.)

SquirtSprite(巴萨球迷):还没好透!(Not that good.)

YourPupilsDilated(尼日利亚球迷):格列兹曼轻巧的触球,就像在和妹子羞羞之前挑逗小豆蔻一样…(Griezmann flicking that ball the way you flick your girl's bean when you are trying to warm her up.)

Sleepsholymountain(巴萨球迷):早晨5点45起来就为了看格子踢球,结果离开房间才10秒格子就进球了…(Woke up at 5:45 AM to watch him and then this happens when I'm out of the room for 10 seconds.)

upvote-me-ya-bish(巴萨球迷):苏牙:“闭上你的眼睛~”梅西:“我只能看到一片虚无…”苏牙:“那就是我没有你的世界,西。”(Suarez : Close your eyes. Messi : i see nothing. Suaeez : thats my life without you bro.)

mmalk2405(未知主队球迷):内马尔哭晕在角落。(Neymar crying in a corner.)

CruyffsPlan(巴萨球迷):“我是里奥-梅西,我有6座金靴奖杯,但我并不喜欢进球。”("I'm Lionel Messi and I have 6 golden boots and I don't even like scoring".)

Immolxte(未知主队球迷):有点像勒布朗-詹姆斯,即使最后成为NBA得分王,人们记住更多的还是他的传球…(kind like how Lebron might end up top in the NBA scoring charts and he’s more known for his passing.)

奥利奥染红,皇马0-1马洛卡

JurijFedorov(西班牙球迷):维尼修斯看起来是个极好的球员,就是从来都没踢过球。(Vinicius looks like an extremely good footballer who have never played before.)

HighlyAdorable13(皇马球迷):和奥利奥相比,库尔图瓦也算是很不错的引援了…(Courtois has been a far better signing than Odriozola.)

Gnorrn(未知主队球迷):有没有人告诉皇马,虽然你们去了马洛卡,但这次真的不是去度假的…(Someone should tell Madrid that, even though they're in Mallorca, they're not actually on holiday.)

MacSyphilis(未知主队球迷):皇马和巴萨互相谦让西甲榜首,就像上赛季阿森纳、曼联和切尔西谦让争四一样…(Real and barca just handing each other the la liga title like arsenal, utd and Chelsea last season with top 4.)

Bork_Lazer96(曼联球迷):皇马现在应该很庆幸国家德比推迟了…(Real is probably glad that Clasico is postponed right now.)

Iamthepkn(皇马球迷):真希望踢加拉塔萨雷的比赛也能推迟啊!(I seriously want the Galatasaray match to be postponed too.)

AppropriateName_(皇马球迷):夜幕下的齐达内睡着了。在梦里,皇马为他签下了坎特。(Zinedine Zidane goes to bed at night and dreams of N’Golo Kanté at Real Madrid.)

SeparatePrice(未知主队球迷):如果齐祖真的很想执教坎特、博格巴和姆巴佩的话,那在克莱枫丹有个更合适的位置等着呢!(If you really want to manage Kante, Pogba and Mbappe, there's a nice job at Clairefontaine for you.)

CameronReddish(未知主队球迷):我不常看足球哈,想问下C罗现在怎么啦?是受伤了还是离队了?(I don’t follow soccer much: What happened to Cristiano Ronaldo? Is he hurt or is he off the team?)

ararar262626(未知主队球迷):他现在去打篮球了!(He plays basketball now.)

阿隆索进球,切尔西1-0纽卡斯尔

AnittaSupervisor(未知主队球迷):握日哦,每次我换台去看其他比赛,刚换走的比赛就会进球!(I swear whenever i switch stream to another game, the past game has a goal. fuck me sideways.)

MartinD738(切尔西球迷):你能一直换台吗?我们还想进个球!(Keep switching pls we want another!)

热苏斯席尔瓦进球,曼城2-0水晶宫

FappinOnYerNexus(皇马球迷):曼城这套球衣的配色,让我还不如看黑白电视呢!(This Man City away kit makes me wish I had a black-and-white TV.)

KapSan1(巴萨球迷):第87分钟范安霍尔特差点就复制博阿滕的经典一摔了,可惜就是斯特林的射门没进啊!(Van aanholt impersonating that boateng fall in the 87th minute lol. It was a shame Sterling didn't score that chance.)

Viremia(利物浦球迷):我觉得下周瓜瓜要让斯特林去踢中后卫了!(Pep's gonna have Sterling playing CB next week.)

C罗皮亚尼奇进球,尤文2-1博洛尼亚

ZweC(皇马球迷):C罗进球的瞬间皇马却丢球了,这难道是巧合吗?我可不这么认为。(Ronaldo scores as soon as Madrid go down. Coincidence? I think not.)

Iamthepkn(皇马球迷):当然不是巧合,因为皇马一直在丢球。(Real Madrid conceding a goal is not coincidence, it is inevitable.)

补时遭绝平,拜仁2-2奥格斯堡

Mihmed146(未知主队球迷):这是热刺的诅咒么…(The curse of the Spurs.)

DemetriusXVII(拜仁球迷):扛着拜仁和波兰走了这么多年,莱万的脊背一定是钢铁做的…(Lewandowski must have a back of steel after carrying Bayern and Poland day in and day out.)

The_TaxmanRC(拜仁球迷):加纳布里就是长头发的罗本!(Gnabry is just a Robben with hair.)

ValverdeLover(未知主队球迷):毕竟是阿森纳名宿啊!(Arsenal legend.)

科斯塔进球,马竞1-1瓦伦西亚

nanashi100(未知主队球迷):如果梅西是西蒙尼调教出来的,那他应该会去踢中后卫吧…(Imagine Messi being trained by Simone lulz would play at CB.)

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。本周,精彩欧冠赛事又将重燃战火,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

消息参考来源: reddit

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热门评论(16)

2019-10-21 19:07:15

891

不懂就问,小豆蔻是什么?

查看回复(29)

2019-10-21 19:03:11

739

英超16支队伍:感谢红军对曼联的不杀之恩

我们可以从曼联身上拿分了

查看回复(5)

2019-10-21 19:05:42

709

说实话,国外黑子真比国内的水平高

查看回复(7)

2019-10-21 19:06:48

661

门焊死了,今天谁也别想下车

查看回复(1)

2019-10-21 19:06:23

396

红军没拿过老乡一个锁头

2019-10-21 19:07:32

393

这场曼联这帮崽子踢平了利物浦估计感觉自己拿了欧冠 下几场就让你知道知道什么叫烂泥扶不上墙

查看回复(11)

2019-10-21 19:04:37

383

查看回复(6)

2019-10-21 19:10:31

331

我都看完了,你们这些段子手怎么才只有一条评论

2019-10-21 19:17:07

288

马特奥太逗了皇马球衣,利物浦短裤

查看回复(4)

2019-10-21 19:10:34

240

牺牲利物浦,造福全英超

2019-10-21 19:06:45

221

元气弹那个笑死。。

2019-10-21 19:26:47

165

指的应该是曼联的highlights。前面那句话主语是Liverpool,后面跟的giving 也是利物浦的动作

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2019-10-21 19:20:39

147

明明丢分不胜就像呼吸一样自然

『裁判没问题啦。丢球是运气因素,我们踢得很好了。请大家多给我时间,我们会回到正轨的。』

却还能说出这种话的人

现在马上以伤害罪、强制罪、诈骗罪被判处无期徒刑就好了。

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2019-10-21 19:07:09

134

我感觉🔒打强队挺牛逼的啊...

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2019-10-21 19:21:11

125

暗示你魔赶快买克罗地亚球员...

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2019-10-21 19:18:05

98

我想看原版色后

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