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国外也有段子手:告诉我,谁是冠军?

西江月-song 2018-12-31 19:00:25

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷,利物浦赢下了与阿森纳的焦点之战,曼联在换帅后接连取胜,曼城升至积分榜次席,而切尔西也凭借坎特的进球战胜了对手。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

巩固榜首,利物浦5-1阿森纳

ViHamster(拜仁球迷):这些我都做得到但那个人已经不是我…(The same score line but not us any longer.)

GoooooringerI(阿森纳球迷):你还记得那3分钟的领先时间吗,那是我今天最幸福的时刻…(Hey do you guys remember when we were winning for 3 minutes, those were the days.)

HoldthisL_28-3(曼联球迷):阿森纳这踢得,就像是已经在第一轮就4-0领先了一样…(Arsenal are playing as if they won the first leg 4-0...)

IamNoOne(巴黎球迷):啊?(Ahh…)

RyoCaliente(阿森纳球迷):我又不脆弱,何况那算什么伤,反正我厂不就都这样。(Ok it doesn’t hurt me since I have already been used to this shit.)

MrAchilles(阿森纳球迷):好羡慕那些冠军粉,起码每天都过得很开心吧…(I start to envy those weathercocks, at least they are always happy. )

Rompskee(阿森纳球迷):足球世界最大的对决就是阿森纳VS阿森纳的防守了吧!(The biggest rivalry in football remains Arsenal vs Arsenal's defense.)

bo3isalright(利物浦球迷):上次看见争四的球队有如此稀烂的防守,那还是5年前的我们...(haven't seen a defence this bad on a team challenging for UCL since us like 5 years ago lol)

ExtemeFilms(未知主队球迷):阿森纳的后卫们,能不能别每次都只盯着边裁看而不去防守了…(better not to stare at the linesman instead of defending, Arsenal defenders.)

Idavid14(阿森纳球迷):其实我厂的比赛还是给不少人带来了欢乐,毕竟我们的防守就是个笑话啊!(Arsenal's already brought happiness to many people because our defense is a joke.)

Jonesiiii(未知主队球迷):在“阿森纳”这三个字里,“防”字代表着防守。(The ”D” in Arsenal stands for defending.)

MistaChelseaa(未知主队球迷):现在恐怕连水晶宫都阻止不了利物浦夺冠了…(Surely even Crystal Palace cant stop this Liverpool title challenge now.)

Kpowell911(曼城球迷):难道这就是上赛季其他球队看曼城比赛的感觉么…(So, this is how it felt for non City fans last season.... Hmm.)

Axllu(利物浦球迷):2场比赛给了3个点球,我们接下来10年的点球都已经预支掉了…(3 pens in 2 games. Thats all the penalties for the next decade.)

博格巴两射一传,曼联4-1伯恩茅斯

Kinjongfun(考文垂球迷):曼联这新教练是雇了一个魔法师么…(Its like they’ve actually hired an Necromancer as their new coach.)

Nweston8(阿森纳球迷):笑话了曼联这么久,现在才发现人家只比我厂落后3分…(Have been laughing at United for so long until I found only 3 points between us…)

Skipatomskip(曼联球迷):是时候坐时光机回到8月去解雇穆里尼奥了!(Time to build a time machine to sack Jose in August.)

Longtimelistener(利物浦球迷):是时候偷你的时光机去阻止沙奇里进第3个球了!(currently attempting to steal your time machine to stop Shaqiri from scoring a third.)

SmithyPlayz(朴茨茅斯球迷):穆帅是怎么让我们相信这些球员能力都不行的?(How did Mourinho make us believe that these players weren't good enough.)

Toothsaber(未知主队球迷):因为他是特殊的一个呀!(He is the special one ;)

ThisAfricanboy(曼联球迷):那以前球员到底算不算出工不出力?要是哪天他们又不想让索尔斯克亚当教练了咋办?(So those players were just slacking before? What if they do not want Ole either someday…)

ShutupNdSquat(曼联球迷):不如成立球员议会,直接球员自治就行了…(They may just set up a small council to rule themselves…)

Attykyakhandala(曼联球迷):我们好像是在对方半场里摆了个大巴…(It's like we park the bus on the other half now.)

SmolMemeling(曼联球迷):卢卡库都能不停球直接射门了?那其实只是停球没停好弹进球网里去了…(Lukaku scores on a first touch? Pretty sure he was just trying to control the ball and it got away from him.)

阿圭罗席尔瓦进球,曼城3-1南安普顿

SaintEverton(埃弗顿球迷):啊,我都忘了曼城其实也踢得很不错了…(Oh yeah I forgot City were good at football.)

Rompskee(阿森纳球迷):当我终于看习惯了席尔瓦光头的时候,他头发却又长出来了…(I finally get used to David Silva being bald and a he goes and gets hair again.)

坎特进球,切尔西1-0水晶宫

LockonKun(未知主队球迷):坎特原来是个“伪后腰”…(Okay Kante you fake DM.)

Nortca(切尔西球迷):坎特原来不知道怎么庆祝进球啊…(He wasn't even sure how to lead a celebration.)

Pyronetic5(拜仁球迷):你在禁区里有1米9的吉鲁,结果却是1米6多的坎特来争抢传中进球…(When you have a six foot Giroud, but your 5 foot Kante receives the cross and scores.)

Spicyhead(未知主队球迷):谁能想到,解决“吉鲁-莫拉塔综合征”的良药竟然是坎特…(Who would have thought that Kante was the solution to the Giroud v Morata syndrome?)

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了,让我们下期不见不散!大过年的还看完了这篇新闻,一定是和小编一样没有对象吧...抱抱~

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非常抱歉!