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国外也有段子手:你的离开,让我忘了世界杯的精彩

西江月-song 2018-07-11 19:00:53

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”!世界杯半决赛先赛一场,法国队凭借乌姆蒂蒂的进球战胜比利时。而转会市场上,C罗加盟尤文的消息占据了各大媒体的头条,而意大利门神布冯也正式加盟了巴黎圣日耳曼。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

乌姆蒂蒂进球,法国1-0比利时

nukepurp(未知主队球迷):想要看到这场世界杯半决赛的消息,我得先翻过400篇C罗转会的新闻才行…(400 CR7 threads to scroll thru before finding the WORLD CUP match thread. Thanks, mods.)

renome(克罗地亚球迷):因为C罗,世界杯半决赛都踢完半小时了还上不了首页,就连罗兰多(英文与C罗名字很像)续约的新闻都顶到上边去了…(A WC semi match and this thread can't get on the front page after half an hour due to Ronaldo. Even Rolando's contract extension is currently higher.

maburrell(阿森纳球迷):法国这巴萨和皇马的中卫组合,简直就像是在作弊啊!(I think it's cheating that France has a Barça-Real Madrid CB pairing.)

Barakanana(比利时球迷):就是,上一个这么干的西班牙队已经被罚回家了!(Of course they are, the last team who did it has been sent home now.)

Petr_File(未知主队球迷):当年要是有瓦拉内,法国就能防住纳粹德国的进攻了!(Raphael Varane coild've kept the Nazis out of France.)

Abedtime(法国球迷):我已经决定把“瓦拉内”当做我玩SM的安全词了!(Just wanna use Varane as my safe word lol.)

FootballFTW(巴萨球迷):我们的后卫进球这么多,而我们的前锋却都哑火了…(Our defenders can score goals but not our forwards.)

Volitient(巴萨球迷):要不下赛季安排乌姆蒂蒂和米纳踢双前锋,然后就直接传中不就行啦?(Put Mina and Titi up front all of next season and spam crosses?)

BMG-Darbs(英格兰球迷):突然就感觉把乌姆蒂蒂P成普约尔的那张图,简直不能再形象了!(Never has that Umtiti/Puyol mashup been more accurate.)

maejor-(巴萨球迷):2010年世界杯,普约尔打进唯一进球送西班牙进决赛;2018年世界杯,乌姆蒂蒂打进唯一进球送法国进决赛!(Puyol scored the only goal to get Spain to the final back in 2010. Umtiti did the same for France today.)

Lord-Filip(未知主队球迷):米纳:我的学生乌姆蒂蒂已经成为头球大师啦!(Mina: My student umtiti becomes the master.)

TyraTanks(多特球迷):裁判:对阿扎尔犯规,那能算犯规么?(Fouls on Hazard don't count as fouls. -Todays Ref.)

esss_lmtd(美国球迷):是不是因为裁判的老婆喜欢上阿扎尔了…(Did the ref's wife bang Hazard or something?)

bielzerian(未知主队球迷):姆巴佩今天这表现,是在向内马尔致敬吧!(This is Mbappe's tribute to Neymar.)

DwightKPoop(美国球迷):当吉鲁要下场的时候,亨利好像在热身呢!(Henry is like warming up with Giroud down.)

The_Relaxed_Flow(比利时球迷):这比赛看得我五味杂陈,不说了,还是再去看一遍比利时踢日本的比赛吧!(This game left such a bad taste in my mouth I'm gonna go ahead and re-watch Japan vs Belgium.)

americanvillan317(阿森纳球迷):唉,比利时当时就应该再加把劲输给英格兰啊!(belgium really should have tried harder to lose to England.)

BusterWhale(曼联球迷):法国队进攻策略:防守反击,然后传到禁区找吉鲁,再然后吉鲁就射偏了...(France’s offensive game plan: Counterattack. Pass to Giroud in the box. Shot off target.)

theoneineveruse(比利时球迷):比利时队进攻策略:传到法国禁区,然后发现遍地都是法国人,再然后球就丢了…(Belgium's offensive game plan: Get in France's box. Realise it's full of french people. Lose the ball.)

amh137(巴基斯坦球迷):2016年输给葡萄牙那场让法国吸取了教训, 现在他们踢得已经和葡萄牙一样了,看起来还挺有效果…(France have learnt from Portugal 2016 and now doing the same lol. If it works...)

Mr_Lich12(沙特球迷):亨利现在得是边哭边庆祝吧…(Thierry Henry crying and Celebrating at same time.)

重磅!C罗转会尤文图斯

arctiquer(巴萨球迷):C罗,我从没喜欢过你,但我真的会怀念你还在西甲的日子...(Ronaldo, as much as I don't like you, I'll miss you in La Liga.)

dntowns(皇马球迷):好了,现在可以退出游戏,然后再从上次的存档重启了吧?(Alright time to quit teh game and reload from last save....)

terreblanche14(阿森纳球迷):感觉任何加盟尤文的30岁以上的球员,来到后都能立马年轻十岁...(And like every other 30+ y.o. player that joins Juventus, he just got 10 years younger.)

bridgeorl(利物浦球迷):尤文免签个埃姆雷-詹都能拖沓几个月,买C罗竟然只传了一周就签约了...(It took Juventus months to finally agree to sign Emre Can on a free and they just bought Ronaldo in the space of like a week.)

(图):人生若只如初见...

racinginthestreet14(未知主队球迷):C罗加盟尤文,也许是因为自己在进尤文倒钩时尤文球迷的掌声吧!(I guess he really appreciated that standing ovation after his bicycle kick.)

CompanionNoob(水晶宫球迷):当时梅西进尤文球的时候尤文球迷也鼓掌了,看来梅西明年加盟尤文也稳了!(Juve fans to clap Messi when he scores a goal against them. Guaranteed to get him to sign next year.)

marinate(法国球迷):这个夏天太疯狂了,詹姆斯去了湖人,C罗加盟了尤文...(LeBron to the lakers, Ronaldo to Juve. Wow what a summer)

ShockRampage(英格兰球迷):快藏好你们的萨拉赫和阿扎尔们,皇马现在要来烧钱了!(Hide yo Salahs, hide yo Hazards, Madrid got money to burn.)

munching_brotatoe(曼联球迷):新晋尤文球迷们,我来告诉你们一些尤文的知识,他们队员的平均年龄是47岁哦!(For new Juventus fans, here is some useful information: Average age of team: 47)

BallPlartCallMop(拜仁球迷):现在也就37吧,毕竟布冯已经去巴黎了。(I think it's 37. Buffon left for PSG.)

youwylin(法国球迷):上次有这么重磅的转会,还是...C罗上次转会的时候...(Biggest transfer since his last one.)

manchall(皇马球迷):为什么我如此的伤心,因为我相信尤文球迷肯定不会嘘C罗的,而我们的球迷真是太奇怪了... (Do you know why I'm more sad? It's because Juve fans will never boo him for once...our fans are pathetic.)

mBertin(尤文球迷):这是发生了什么?当年马特里当前锋的苦日子终于迎来回报了!(Holy shit it's happening. All those years of eduring Matri as a striker have finally paid off.)

ner0man(尤文球迷):起码马特里长得还是和C罗一样帅吧?(At least Matri was nearly as beautiful as Cristiano..)

告别斑马生涯,布冯加盟巴黎

Devanshr7(皇马球迷):布冯去了大巴黎,C罗去了尤文,这怎么感觉是在游戏里玩生涯模式一样...(Buffon to psg, ronaldo to juve, this feels like career mode.)

yimanya(奥林匹亚科斯球迷):现在还有人说FIFA游戏做得不真实么...(And they said FIFA games look nothing like the real thing.)

doublex12(未知主队球迷):当布冯退役的时候,也许已经和尤达大师一个年龄了吧...(When Buffon retires he will be the same age as Yoda.)

itsjuanitoo(西班牙球迷):有趣的是,你知道布冯和姆巴佩之间差了67岁吗?(And the fun facts. Did you know Mbappe and Buffon have 67 years between them?)

Sveq(英格兰球迷):我的天,我知道布冯是小将,可没想到他能有这么年轻啊!(Wow Buffon must be an exciting young prospect, so much younger than I thought.)

(图):闯进世界杯决赛后,法国球迷疯狂地在街上庆祝。希望有一天,我们也能体验到这种感觉

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的吐槽吧!

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非常抱歉!