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国外也有段子手:大力神杯要回家了?

西江月-song 2018-07-08 19:00:51

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到本期的“国外也有段子手”!昨夜的世界杯赛场精彩看点层出不穷,英格兰击败瑞典,时隔28年再次闯入世界杯四强;经过又一次点球大战,克罗地亚淘汰东道主俄罗斯。好了,话不多说,快让我们来看看歪果仁们精彩的吐槽吧!

马奎尔阿里进球,英格兰2-0瑞典

Kreygasm2233(热刺球迷):教练不用告诉斯特林“不要浪射”,直接说“传给凯恩”就行了!(Sterling needs that Football Manager slider "shoot less often" set to "pass to Kane")

Boxmasterman(布莱克本球迷):连川普都能当上美国总统,英格兰怎么就不能勇夺世界杯了?(If Donald Trump can meme his way to the Presidency, England can meme their way to a world cup.)

ButtGardener(纽卡斯尔球迷):要是比利时夺冠了,那也能算大力神杯回到家了吧,毕竟比利时这么多球员都在英超踢球...(If Belgium win, i think technically it's still coming home since their team is basically all premier players.)

Yahmedalaba(德国球迷):对啊,那大力神杯也算回中国的老家了,毕竟维特塞尔和卡拉斯科在那里踢球...(Yeah, it's basically coming home to China with Witsel and Carrasco.)

(注:作为现代足球发源地,英格兰把夺得世界杯称为"it's coming home")

redeugene99(底特律城球迷):瑞典是不是把他们的漂亮模特全送来看球了?摄像师每隔2分钟就能在看台上找到一位漂亮的瑞典妹子!(Jesus Christ did Sweden send all their models to this game? The camera panned to a different hot Swedish chick every 2 minutes.)

Galgenfrist (澳大利亚球迷):摄像师对准瑞典球迷,我们看到了花冠女神一样的瑞典妹子;摄像师对准英格兰球迷,却只能看见醉醺醺的半裸大老爷们…(Camera cuts to Sweden: Flower-crowned Swedish girls. Camera cuts to England: Shirtless drunk English men.)

delusional-thomas(西班牙球迷):瑞典球迷:“就算你们赢了球,你们有这么漂亮的妹子吗?”(Sweden fans: “You’re fit but your birds are shit.”)

Akmuq(热刺球迷):足球就是纯爷们的游戏,所以我们英格兰球迷都喜欢男人。(It’s real men’s game, we only like men you know.)

GreatSpaniard(西班牙球迷):今年的英格兰,就是2004年的希腊了吧!(England 2018 are basically Greece 2004.)

corundum9(未知主队球迷):皮球要是碰到了马奎尔的鼻子,应该会被戳破的吧…(Ball would have broken if it hit Maguire's nose.)

(图):马奎尔2016年的推特:花了整整4小时才把从宜家买的台灯组装好,今生总有一天我会找瑞典报仇的!

SavingsLow(巴萨球迷):坐等利物浦8000万镑报价皮克福德!(Scenes when Liverpool sign Pickford for 80 million pounds.)

AggravatingPickle(未知主队球迷):然后买来只是为了给卡里乌斯打替补…(Only to be benched for Karius.)

exdeeznutslol(英格兰球迷):快把皮克福德任命为国防大臣!(Just make Pickford Minister of Defence already.)

DHAYNES07(未知主队球迷):要是你3个月前告诉我说,英格兰会进入世界杯半决赛,皮克福德、特里皮尔都有牛逼表现,斯通斯进球比梅西都多…我一定会觉得你疯了…(If you said 3 months ago... England semi finals... Pickford, Trippier and Maguire were some our best players, and Stones scored more goals than Messi. Crazy.)

that0neGuy22(利物浦球迷):啊,皮克福德我要给你生猴子!(Well Pickford please have my kids.)

ealuscerwen(阿贾克斯球迷):记得之前有个哥们说要是英格兰进四强就吃了自己的丁丁,现在快去找他!(Someone in the match thread said he was going to eat his dick if England qualified for semi-finals. Find that man.)

nalffca(阿森纳球迷):上次英格兰世界杯夺冠的时候,伊丽莎白女王就已经在位了…(the last time England won the World Cup, Elizabeth II was Queen.)

calicotrinket(英格兰球迷):哈哈,看来女王陛下退位前还是能再多看几次英格兰勇夺世界杯的!(Nah, she'll watch England bring home the trophy a few more times before abdicating.)

RibboCG(未知主队球迷):法国与英格兰决战俄罗斯!这次不带德国玩了!(France vs England in Russia. No Germans allowed!)

Rooonaldooo99(未知主队球迷):连瑞典的大高个子都在怕英格兰传中的时候,说明他们踢得真得很好…(You know you are good when the tall Swedes fear high balls.)

tapebandit(英格兰球迷):半决赛是什么?我从来没听说过这种东西呀?(What’s a “semi-final”? Don’t think I’ve seen one of those before.)

radicalized_summer(西班牙球迷):事实上,这才是英格兰队第3次打进世界杯半决赛…(Third time in history that England makes it to semis.)

LosTerminators(西班牙球迷):想象一下在世界杯前告诉人们说,英格兰在世界杯能比巴西、德国和西班牙走得都要远…(Imagine telling people before this WC began that England would last longer in this tournament than Brazil, Germany and Spain.)

TheMentallord(未知主队球迷):英格兰现在没了天敌葡萄牙来捕捉它们,现在简直六到飞起,连点球大战都拦不住他们了!(Without their natural predator Portugal in the tournament, England are looking like they could win it all. Not even a penalty shootout was enough to stop them.)

(图):曾经的马奎尔只是英格兰球迷的一员,而现在他为球队在世界杯上进球!

再次点球大战!克罗地亚淘汰俄罗斯进四强

Jose_Monteverde(秘鲁球迷):我最好的朋友是克罗地亚人,他在5年前自杀去世了。在他去世前回克罗地亚的时候,我们互相交换了秘鲁和克罗地亚的球衣。现在克罗地亚进四强了,兄弟你看到了吗?好想念你还在我身边的时候,加油,克罗地亚!(I lost my Croatian best friend to suicide 5 years ago. We exchanged my Perú jersey for his Croatian one before he left for Croatia where he died. Now did you see that? Miss the days you were here bro. Go Croatia!!!)

Drewsufff(法国球迷):足球无非就是22个人追着球跑120分钟,最后拉基蒂奇命中制胜点球的游戏而已!(Football is a simple game. Twenty-two men chase a ball for 120 minutes and at the end, Rakitic scores the winning penalty.)

wisdom591(巴萨球迷):梅西我爱你,但你得跟着辣鸡学学踢点球了…(Love you Messi but Rakitic should teach you penalties at Barca.)

(图):世界杯1/4决赛最佳阵容

terreblanche14(阿森纳球迷):万万没想到,今年的切里舍夫就是2014年的J罗!(Cheryshev the 2018 James Rodriguez who would have thought?)

ImRBJ(曼城球迷):切里舍夫转会皇马稳了!(Cheryshev to Real Madrid confirmed.)

eusoujoaonava(皇马球迷):那巴萨国王杯冠军也稳了…(Barcelona’s Copa del Rey confirmed.)

SeryaphFR(西班牙球迷):切里舍夫一定违反了什么国际法,你看直接就朝着巴尔干人民射了一炮!(Cheryshev must have violated at least a dozen international accords by launching a rocket like that, and straight into the Balkans too.)

mateokovacic16(克罗地亚球迷):下场踢英格兰的比赛我都不想看了,求好心人在点球大战之前提醒我一下就行…(I won't watch Croatia-England, just someone reply to me that penalties started.)

Kevnov(利物浦球迷):苏巴西奇拖着一条伤腿都能扑出点球,我们也不想和你们踢点球大战啊!(Fking Subasic saved one on 1 leg. I don't wanna go to penalties too lol)

Banana_massacre(切尔西球迷):不管怎样,克罗地亚也能凭借客场进球优势晋级啊!(Croatia should've gone through on away goals anyways.)

Frikgeek(克罗地亚球迷):克罗地亚总共得了12张黄牌,结果却没有一人因为黄牌停赛,而且到了半决赛又都能清零了…(So Croatia managed to get 12 yellow cards and 0 suspensions, and now they all get cleared for the semifinal.)

GIBSEA(未知主队球迷):现在南美球员在世界杯真是1个人也不剩了…(South Americans on this WC, not even once.)

Landofthebeez(未知主队球迷):有没有人发现,当克罗地亚在加时赛进球的时候,有个球迷妹子激动地把上衣都脱了…(Anyone got a clip of that Croatian girl who took her shirt off after the their extra time goal?)

Anyteaa(未知主队球迷):克罗地亚简直就是作弊啊,你们球踢得这么好,球迷妹子还这么漂亮…(Croatia are cheating, you play like gold, and your girls are fit.)


asi4LOVE4Pie4(苏格兰球迷):我是普京,现在慌得不轻。(Mr. Putin: I don't feel so good.)

ivanovsson(瑞典球迷):我是瑞典人,我的母亲是俄罗斯人,鬼知道我这一天经历了什么…(I'm Swedish and my mom is Russian. This day could have gone better...)

hughjazzmann(未知主队球迷):莫德里奇的点球,简直让我心跳停了两秒钟…(modric’s penalty though. Heart skipped a couple beats.)

Princessfinn(英格兰球迷):我还是希望克罗地亚赢的,因为没有人愿意在世界杯半决赛踢东道主…(Hope Croatia win, nobody wants to face the hosts in a World Cup semi final.)

Paustinowers(巴西球迷):啊,德国人除外…(Well unless you are German.)

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。下周,精彩的世界杯半决赛即将上演,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的吐槽吧!

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非常抱歉!