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国外也有段子手:来生,你还爱这支球队么?

西江月-song 2017-09-11 20:20:58 评论

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!本周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷,各大联赛硝烟再起,曼城、切尔西、阿森纳、巴萨等球队均顺利获胜,曼联、皇马收获平局,而拜仁、利物浦等球队则惨遭失利。好了,话不多说,让我们赶紧看看国外段子手们的犀利吐槽吧!

【马内染红,曼城5-0利物浦】

Putinovetrump(利物浦球迷):永别了朋友们,来生还爱利物苦!(Farewell my friends, still love Liverpoor in the afterlife!)

Astoryoficeandfire(阿森纳球迷):终于...这周我们也能笑话一下别的球队了!(Finally we get to laugh at someone other than Arsenal this week.)

Wtfnoamno(未知主队球迷):谁来跟我解释一下,为啥被罚下的是前锋,而红军的防守却崩溃了!(Someone will have to explain how a forward getting sent off makes the defence shit the bed so much.)

Beintouch99(利物浦球迷):说得跟没罚下前锋我们后防就不会崩一样…(So you mean our defense is good if the striker is on pitch?)

Thierry-Henry(亨利本人):我已经观察张伯伦很久了,直到现在我都不知道他到底擅长些啥。("I've been watching him (Oxlade-Chamberlain) for a very long time and I still don't know what he's good at.")

MagikPigeon(未知主队球迷):起码他应该擅长英语吧…(He's very good at being English at least.)

Preston_C (切尔西球迷):起码人家张伯伦没有连续两场输0-4呀!(Well at least Ox won't lose two straight games 4-0.)

Reading0192(英格兰球迷):张伯伦在阿森纳的首秀输了曼联2-8,在利物浦的首秀又输了0-5…(Oxlade Chamberlain debut for Arsenal loses 8-2, Debut for Liverpool 5-0.)

Shoobiedoobie(阿森纳球迷):张伯伦:我的下一站是曼城!(Chamberlain’s next chapter: Manchester City.)

Darklordreigns(曼联球迷):这两场比赛张伯伦所在球队输的球,比他全部英超进球的总和都多了…(Oxlade Chamberlain's Teams have conceded as many goals in the last 2 matches as his PL Goal Tally. Lmao.)

Feij(费耶诺德球迷):看来我们周三的比赛好踢啦,曼城球员这场比赛一定大伤了元气!(Easy win for us on Wednesday. City players must be fucking exhausted after this game.)

Domalino(曼城球迷):是啊,我们也只好使用轮换球员了…比如京多安、B-席尔瓦、斯特林还有亚亚图雷….(Yep…We might be forced to use a few of our rotation players....Gundogan, Bernardo Silva, Sterling, Yaya.)

(图):热苏斯的第一球是45+8分钟进的,第二球是52分钟。也就是说,他的第二球比第一球进得还要早...

Mazurr(曼城球迷):热苏斯每次进球后都要看一眼边裁,这都快成他庆祝进球的特殊方式了…(Looks at the linesman. Every Jesus goal for MC ever. It would be a part of his celebration.)

CharlieScottx(纽约红牛球迷):阿森纳再6-0击败曼城,这个循环就圆满了!(Arsenal to beat City 6-0 to send everything full circle.)

JackPelicinakis(阿森纳球迷):利物浦真坏,连个最惨输球的纪录都要跟我们抢!(Damn, liverpool couldnt even let us have the biggest defeat of the season.)

Weasdasfa(未知主队球迷):也许这就是渣叔争强好胜的性格吧!(Maybe it’s Klopp's competitive nature.)

LarryMullenBand(曼联球迷):这一定是利物浦的阴谋!不就是想让曼城在净胜球上超过我们吗!(It’s Liverpool’s trick to spit United even in defeat by giving City substantial help in their goal differential.)

emre23(利物浦球迷):在马内被罚下后,利物浦连一脚射门都不再有了…(Liverpool did not produce a single goal attempt after Mane was sent off.)

【保持连胜,切尔西2-1莱斯特城】

kayanivrutham(未知主队球迷):也许只有坎特才能防得住坎特了…(The only one possible way to stop Kante is to make him defend himself.)

Aerialist_SS(多特球迷):莫拉塔的头,已经完成了3个进球和2个助攻了!(Moratas head. 3 goals. 2 assists.)

Harshmangat(曼联球迷):莫拉塔的头上功夫,简直比Ilze还要好啊!(This guy gives better head than Ilze.)

(注:give head双关,引申义小编不太懂…Ilze这人,也不怎么认识…)

MLang9(切尔西球迷):莫拉塔的优势足竟然是头啊!(Morata's strong foot is his head)

oguzhan61(未知主队球迷):莫拉塔的头球先是师从C罗老师,后来又在拉莫斯教授的指导下完成进阶。(From the Ronaldo School of Heading. Took some extra lessons from Professor Ramos, too.)

【阿森纳3-0伯恩茅斯】

nalNinjaJawz(阿森纳球迷):这比赛是真的么…(Is this real match?)

Daddywelbeck(阿森纳球迷):现在,我的ID终于派上用场啦!(my username hasn't been more applicable for a while now.)

Peanut123(阿森纳球迷):科克兰这倒地,就像观众席里有个狙击手一样…(Coq fell like there was a sniper in the crowd seat.)

JpLfc(英格兰球迷):张伯伦这是把你厂的霉运都带到利物浦来了吧!(I think Ox took the Arsenal curse with him to Liverpool)

FjortisDunk(阿森纳球迷):我们能每周都卖一次张伯伦么?(Can we sell Ox every week?)

Mattcrick(阿森纳球迷):哈哈,这样到了冬天我们就有好几亿的收入了,不过我敢说,高层们还是一分钱都不会花出去的!(Damn, we'd have hundreds of millions of dollars extra by the winter transfer window. And the board still wouldn't spend any of it.)

Poetaetr(拜仁球迷):我打赌现在维基百科一定收录了“张伯伦效应”这个词了!(I bet there will be a new page on Wikipedia about "The Ox Effect")

ImMindboggled(利物浦球迷):我们冬天把张伯伦卖给切尔西吧,这样车子就能在他首秀时输0-6了!(We'll offload him in the winter to Chelsea who will lose 6-0 on his debut.)

【梅西带帽,巴萨5-0西班牙人】

Gary-Lineker(莱因克尔本人):内马尔走后,梅西的状态确实不行了,你看这3场比赛才有5个进球和1次带帽而已…("Messi seems to be struggling a tad without Neymar. 3 games 5 goals and a hat-trick tonight.")

Saywhatagain(曼城球迷):西班牙人踢得太利物浦了啊!(espanyol look like Liverpool.)

(图):梅西腰上的口红印是怎么回事...

etudii(西班牙人):显然,库蒂尼奥从未离开西班牙人。(Apparently, Countinho never left Espanyol.)

thoth2(巴萨球迷):这就是西班牙人不应该买张伯伦的原因啊!(This is why Espanyol shouldn't have bought Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain.)

DEALeverrr(巴萨球迷):在这个特殊的日子里,梅西以帽子戏法庆祝登贝莱的首秀。(As every special occasion, Messi celebrates Dembele's debut with a hat trick.)

Burnedgoat(曼联球迷):巴萨恐怕不会降级了,真是难以置信!(Can't believe Barca might not get relegated.)

(图):梅西和魔术师的共同点是什么?就是他们都会变帽子戏法!

time_games(加拉塔萨雷球迷):梅西想方设法地想让苏牙进个球,结果最后球还是都自己进了…(Messi is really trying to make Suarez score, but it all still ends at his feet.)

DiamondPittcairn(未知主队球迷):苏牙只不过开启了“阿根廷国家队神锋”模式而已!(Suarez is just in "Argentina national team forward" mode.)

【两连平,皇马1-1莱万特】

Potatochips(皇马球迷):我们的玄学是用光了么…(Our luck has run out?)

GreatSpaniard(皇马球迷):我说拜仁和切尔西,把之前卖给你们的板凳退回来好么?我们拿贝尔和本泽马来换!(Yo Bayern and Chelsea, can we have our bench back please? We will give you Bale and Benzema in exchange!!!)

MAK98(曼联球迷):再也不想听什么“C罗一点也不重要”的言论了!(Never want to hear anyone say Ronaldo isnt the most important player ever again.)

DaysToGo(曼联球迷):不买替补前锋对皇马而言代价惨重啊!我看切尔西的莫拉塔挺适合的,可以考虑报价哦。(Not buying a backup striker will bite Real in the ass this season. Chelsea’s Morata was perfect for them, he deserves a bid.)

(图):莫德里奇生日快乐~

【屡献神扑,曼联2-2斯托克城】

TheUchiha(曼联球迷):你好,我的平局老朋友…(Hello drawness my old friend…)

macismydog(曼联球迷):现在我有点担心这赛季会降级了…(It means we're getting relegated now I'm afraid.)

(图):当你想到这是最后一次拥抱英超冠军奖杯的时候...

Ewaninho(利物浦球迷):你魔,我军还有埃弗顿下赛季都在英冠玩耍,岂不妙哉!(You, us and Everton in the Championship next season should be interesting.)

BombBomb(阿森纳球迷):那我们阿森纳去哪了?(And where's Arsenal in all this?)

Pasam311(阿森纳球迷):放心,我们肯定能当倒数第四,保级无忧!(Don’t worry we'll finish 4th from bottom, no relegation’s trouble.)

(图):据说还记得这个的都是老球迷

【少帅的胜利,霍芬海姆2-0拜仁】

germanglasses(拜仁球迷):我想提个小小的建议,就是我们以后踢比赛时,可以考虑考虑“战术”这个词…(I´d very much appreciate it if at some point in the near future we could consider using something called "tactic")

masetheace97(多特球迷):霍芬海姆真是在花式秀防守技巧!(Great defensive show from Hoffenheim.)

Kfurtafito(法兰克福球迷):风水轮流转了么?多特刚刚平局丢分,然后拜仁立马就输球丢更多!(So things are reversing for now? Dortmund drop points and somehow Bayern manage to drop even more?)

【姆巴佩首秀进球,巴黎5-1梅斯】

Danielconde(未知主队球迷):内马尔已经感受到来自姆巴佩的阴影了…(Neymar starting to feel the weight of Mbappe's shadow.)

Arawak(毕尔巴鄂球迷):想象一下,要是姆巴佩赶在内马尔前面拿了金球奖,岂不是很尴尬…(Imagine how embrassing if Neymar goes to PSG only to see Mbappe win ballon d'or first.)

Rdfporcazzo(帕尔梅拉斯球迷):在巴黎当前锋,简直是地球上最舒服的工作了!(Being striker on PSG is the best job in the Earth.)

Saltire_Blue(凯尔特人球迷):现在,我还是下注压我们会在周二输给巴黎5个球吧…(I think it's safe to bet we are going to put about 5 past PSG on Tuesday

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。下周的精彩看点依旧多多,让我们下期不见不散!

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精彩评论(16)

  1. PrinceJoe 2017-09-11 20:25:53

    给翻译小哥加个鸡腿!![棒棒哒][棒棒哒]

  2. 大白象YF 2017-09-11 20:23:54

    天下段子共一石,我厂和红军各占4斗,为什么红军会占4斗?张九龄转会的时候带来的。

  3. 卿云子 2017-09-11 20:22:58

    Thierry-Henry(亨利本人):我已经观察张伯伦很久了,直到现在我都不知道他到底擅长些啥。("I've been watching him (Oxlade-Chamberlain) for a very long time and I still don't know what he's good at.")
    [看不下去][看不下去][看不下去][看不下去][看不下去]

  4. 啼啼咔咔酷酷 2017-09-11 20:42:19

    真的不认识吗[捂嘴]

  5. 22岁的影子 2017-09-11 20:26:33

    我这里没有什么第一第二主队
    我心胸狭窄
    一生只够爱切尔西一支俱乐部

  6. ZeeeTheSe7en 2017-09-11 22:48:58

    这里的意思不是说他擅长英语, 说的是他擅长作为一个英国人。这是嘲讽他的户口本加成[受伤][受伤]

  7. 法兰克之鹰 2017-09-11 20:36:18

    每一个人有着不同的际遇(ノ)`ω´(ヾ) ​​​
    爱一只不是狭隘,爱几个也不是草草
    经常因为多料而被质疑,有的时候还有人说伪球迷。
    我可以为威斯特法伦倾倒,也可以为曾经的传切叹服于酋长球场,也可以因为一个人,爱上一座永恒之城,喜欢那种与生俱来的狼气,也可以为那份心底里的不服气,爱上那与天斗与地斗的床单

    22岁的影子 2017-09-11 20:26:33

    我这里没有什么第一第二主队
    我心胸狭窄
    一生只够爱切尔西一支俱乐部

  8. 梅西的西梅 2017-09-11 21:17:45

    媳妇,你听我解释,这真的是款足球APP啊

    啼啼咔咔酷酷 2017-09-11 20:42:19

    真的不认识吗[捂嘴]

  9. 拉法Rafael 2017-09-11 20:53:55

    这个回答才是黑哭了[捂嘴] good at English at least.

    卿云子 2017-09-11 20:22:58

    Thierry-Henry(亨利本人):我已经观察张伯伦很久了,直到现在我都不知道他到底擅长些啥。("I've been watching him (Oxlade-Chamberlain) for a very long time and I still don't know what he's good at.")
    [看不下去][看不下去][看不下去][看不下去][看不下去]

  10. 克里斯托弗 2017-09-11 20:27:03

    利物朴也可以

    PrinceJoe 2017-09-11 20:25:53

    给翻译小哥加个鸡腿!![棒棒哒][棒棒哒]

  11. 一生一次诺坎普 2017-09-11 20:51:12

    马上给你奉献一斗

    大白象YF 2017-09-11 20:23:54

    天下段子共一石,我厂和红军各占4斗,为什么红军会占4斗?张九龄转会的时候带来的。

  12. 阿吧夜雨剑 2017-09-11 22:46:51

    亨利确实说了。天龙体育评论席上,亲口说的。

    duyyff 2017-09-11 21:55:36

    亨利的社交网络上根本没这句话,动动脑子也知道他不会说这种话,不知道这括号里的亨利本人是什么意思。

  13. 一位不愿意透露主队的利物浦球迷 2017-09-12 00:17:07

    大哥,English 就有英国人的意思。咱查查字典再说[看不下去][看不下去][看不下去]

    三驾马车1945 2017-09-12 00:15:00

    难道不是being an Englishman?

  14. 帅气如我的czy 2017-09-11 20:47:41

    老司机带带我,我要进省城[谄媚]

    啼啼咔咔酷酷 2017-09-11 20:42:19

    真的不认识吗[捂嘴]

  15. 丰吉吉曌 2017-09-11 20:34:51

    张九龄[看不下去][看不下去][看不下去]

    大白象YF 2017-09-11 20:23:54

    天下段子共一石,我厂和红军各占4斗,为什么红军会占4斗?张九龄转会的时候带来的。

  16. 22岁的影子 2017-09-11 22:23:20

    我不反对拥有几个主队
    我也曾为马竞和多特蒙德的平民奇迹动容
    以及巴萨的大逆转而热血沸腾
    但到要是说到爱的
    我还是只爱切尔西一个

    法兰克之鹰 2017-09-11 20:36:18

    每一个人有着不同的际遇(ノ)`ω´(ヾ) ​​​
    爱一只不是狭隘,爱几个也不是草草
    经常因为多料而被质疑,有的时候还有人说伪球迷。
    我可以为威斯特法伦倾倒,也可以为曾经的传切叹服于酋长球场,也可以因为一个人,爱上一座永恒之城,喜欢那种与生俱来的狼气,也可以为那份心底里的不服气,爱上那与天斗与地斗的床单

全部评论(219)

  1. 国产巴乔 2017-10-18 21:01:11

    怎么了

    国产巴乔 2017-09-13 23:00:52

    突然发现温格和憨豆先生是兄弟😂😂😂

  2. RAMDREAMER 2017-09-27 12:31:28

    来自西蒙保罗的歌曲sound of silence,“hello darkness my old friend”很文艺的玩梗

  3. honestang 2017-09-16 17:01:09

    他赢了。。。

  4. 三驾马车1945 2017-09-16 10:07:12

    ???

    拜仁慕尼黑灬二娃 2017-09-16 10:02:05

    撸多了?

  5. 拜仁慕尼黑灬二娃 2017-09-16 10:02:05

    撸多了?

    三驾马车1945 2017-09-12 00:30:51

    我查了啊

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