懂球帝首页 > 新闻正文

国外也有段子手:谁才是转会流量担当?

西江月-song 2019-07-22 19:00:34

小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!最近的国际足坛精彩看点层出不穷,德利赫特加盟尤文,格列兹曼加盟巴萨,各豪门也纷纷开启了季前赛之旅,而阿尔及利亚则赢得非洲杯冠军。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!

尘埃落定,德利赫特加盟尤文

Cvein(曼联球迷):今年尤文的联赛冠军稳了!(I think Juventus could win the league this year.)

Mustardios(未知主队球迷):尤文签下我,也能稳拿意甲冠军…(They could win the league even with me.)

nicklo2k(阿森纳球迷):德利赫特只不过是弱化版的穆斯塔菲而已!(Poor man’s Mustafi.)

Bear1375(曼联球迷):这不公平,你怎么能将无名之辈和世界杯冠军相比呢!(Not fair, comparing a World Cup winner to a nobody.)

Pathofkappa(曼联球迷):肥皂剧终于结束了!接下来要看谁啦?(Saga over, what are we going to do now?)

AnnieIWillKnow(切尔西球迷):马儿无处不在。(There's always Neymar.)

Nonachalantly(未知主队球迷):感觉不错,再也不用每天在17条格列兹曼和德利赫特的新闻上点击“隐藏”了!(Really feels good to know I won't have to click "hide" on 17 Griezmann and De Ligt threads every single day.)

Kokeiro(皇马球迷):我还是很高兴他没去巴萨的…(Happy to see him not going to Barcelona honestly.)

格列兹曼加盟巴萨,马竞不认同违约金数额

JoshyyJosh10(巴萨球迷):我只求欧冠不要再被逆转了,我的小心脏真受不了了…(Please no more CL bottled leads. My little heart can’t take it anymore.)

Ed22bulls(巴萨球迷):想开点兄弟,说不定下次是被双杀呢!(Take it easy bro, perhaps we can lose both legs next time.)

BRAGADU(巴萨球迷):要是我们下赛季还是赢不了欧冠…(If we dont win a CL this season...)

Grympy(利物浦球迷):那就会怎样?(What would happen?)

bigby5(巴萨球迷):当然是巴尔韦德续约啦!(Valverde gets an extension.)

Dark_Enganche(皇马球迷):再也没有比看你两个死敌互相撕逼更有意思的事了!(There's nothing better than watching two of your biggest rivals engage each other in a retard fight.)

Unrectify(皇马球迷):这简直比看小黄片还要爽哦!(This is better than watching porn.)

vadapaav(英格兰球迷):这转会就像是漫威电影一样,最后还能给你来个彩蛋…(Just like a marvel movie. There is always that post credit scene drama.)

Eirreg(未知主队球迷):夺得今年奥斯卡最佳转会奖的是…(And the winner of the Transfor d'Or Award is...)

Damrider(曼城球迷):哈哈,我们再也不是(转会花销)第一多的了!毁掉足球的另有其人!(We are not the first anymore hooray! someone else is ruining football!)

Damrider(曼城球迷):宝贝,我们仍然是第一…(still number one baby.)

Mbaban(皇马球迷):现在巴萨每年都会花1亿买人,一年一巨星啊!(Barcelona is getting a 100+ million accomplished player each year now.)

123Beastman(未知主队球迷):巴萨竟然成了银河战舰,感觉有点搞笑…(Kinda funny how Barcelona have become the Galactico club.)

SlowAtMaxQ(巴萨球迷):如果马竞真坚持要我们多付钱,那我们能不能把格子退回去…(if they actually force us to pay up but we can't so we just send greizmann back.)

zoogly123(利物浦球迷):终于有人陪登贝莱玩堡垒之夜了!(Finally Dembele has someone to play Fortnite with.)

JoshuaFC(巴萨球迷):距离法塞罗那又近了一步。(One step closer to Francelona.)

damon02(费耶诺德球迷):八亿的违约金,看来巴萨真的不想失去格列兹曼啊!(800M release clause, Barca definitely does not want to lose him any time soon.)

catwalq(未知主队球迷):如果真有球队拿违约金砸格子,我想巴萨会连续开一个月香槟来庆祝的…(I think they would be popping champagne for a month if they lost him to this clause.)

官方:利物浦续约奥里吉

mynamestartswithCa(巴萨球迷):边看边瑟瑟发抖…(reads in horror.)

kensal78(利物浦球迷):就算奥里吉不再为我们踢一分钟球,他也能称得上是我军名宿了!(He could never play another minute for us and still be a legend.)

giddy07(利物浦球迷):我得评论一句,以证明我亲眼见证了我们四座金球奖获得者续约啦!(Commenting just so I can say I saw it when the 4 time ballon d'or winner signed a new contract.)

Computer_User_01(利物浦球迷):不要这么贬低奥里吉!(Don’t talk him down like that.)

GlumElderberry(霍森斯球迷):红军传奇、巴萨克星,这就是迪沃克-奥里吉!(That’s “Liverpool legend, Barcelona enemy” Divock Origi to you.)

Computer_User_01(利物浦球迷):你忘了他还是“荣誉马德里主义者”。(You forgot ‘Honorary Madridista’.)

凯恩超远吊射绝杀,尤文2-3热刺

Shane4894(热刺球迷):德利赫特上场,小卢卡斯进球,真是梦回阿姆斯特丹啊…(De Ligt comes on.. Moura scores. Flashbacks to Amsterdam.)

wmjm99(热刺球迷):据说德利赫特做噩梦还梦到了小卢卡斯呢!(They say De Ligt has nightmares of Lucas Moura.)

FriendlyTrooper(切尔西球迷):罗纳尔多和孙纳尔多同场竞技,简直把我看湿了…(Ronaldo and Sonaldo on the same pitch making me moist.)

Divorceturtle(未知主队球迷):我只知道篮球比赛最后会扔一个超远投篮,没想到足球也有…(I knew they would throw a long shot by the end time in basketball game, but never thought it also could occur in football.)

Kanedrick_Lamelar(热刺球迷):想到对方守门的是什琴斯尼,顿时又多高兴了100倍!(It’s 100 times better considering Szczesny is in goal)

10Trequartista10(尤文球迷):看到伊瓜因和C罗一起踢球,仿佛一下子回到了10年前一样…(Seeing Higuain and Ronaldo together. Honestly would never have imagined 10 years back.)

Codespyder(未知主队球迷):伊瓜因看起来就像比C罗老10岁,但其实他比C罗还年轻两岁多…(He looks 10 years older than Ronaldo even though he's over two years younger.)

6nicee9(未知主队球迷):当你也开始脱发的时候,就会感觉所有男人发际线都在后退…(Once you start you get bald you notice all men’s receding hairlines.)

再次相遇,阿森纳2-1拜仁

Bobby2221(阿森纳球迷):拜仁的进球是少打了一个零吗?(Didn’t they miss a zero for Bayern’s goals?)

Demderdemden(德国球迷):阿森纳不会防守,而拜仁不会进攻,让我们看看接下来会发生什么。(Arsenal can't defend. Bayern can't finish. Let's see what happens.)

Thegiancalvo(阿森纳球迷):我早就喜欢看国际冠军杯了!(Always rated the ICC.)

Windowhihi(未知主队球迷):阿森纳要赢得德甲冠军啦!(ARSENAL IS WINNING BUNDESLIGA..)

焦点之战,拜仁3-1皇马

Bolah(皇马球迷):在穆里尼奥和孔蒂手下踢了这么多年球,不知道现在库尔图瓦看到门前只有两个后卫会不会被震惊到…(After all those years with Mou and Conte it must have been a shock for Courtois to move to a team that defends with one or maybe two players.)

GabiiN(瑞典球迷):不要忘了西蒙尼哦!(Don't forget simeone.)

Aclarkfifa(未知主队球迷):阿森纳>拜仁>皇马实锤了!(Arsenal > Bayern > Madrid then.)

Ezclapper(未知主队球迷):莱万其实也是个大块头,结果站在聚勒旁边就像个小屁孩儿一样…(Lewandowski is not a small guy, but he looks like a child next to Sule..)

J_Moola(AC米兰球迷):皇马集齐了7个边锋,到底想干什么?(What does Madrid do with 7 wingers?)

Lutzelien(拜仁球迷):能分给我们一个吗?(Give one to us? )

Donniedarkero(皇马球迷):楼上你们的要求我们答应了,决定把贝尔给你们哦!(Your wish was granted and have been rewarded with Gareth Bale.)

Jabari313(特立尼达和多巴哥球迷):我觉得拜仁可能不需要另一个常年受伤的边锋了…(Dont think Bayern need another injury prone winger.)

季前赛再聚首,利物浦2-3多特

Rompskee(阿森纳球迷):这差不多就是利物浦前范戴克时代的防守…(Looking a whole lot like the pre-VVD Liverpool defense.)

Chiswell123(曼城球迷):刚刚还看到一个穿着曼城球衣的哥们给举着利物浦围巾呢!(Just saw a guy in a man city kit holding a Liverpool scarf loll.)

场面激烈,利物浦1-2塞维利亚

Sean-An-tSneachta(未知主队球迷):塞维利亚踢得还是不错的,除了那几个格斗运动员之外。(Seville have been quite good apart from the mma stuff.)

annist0910(利物浦球迷):这场比赛真正的赢家是我们还没断的腿…(The real winners are our unbroken legs.)

一球小胜,曼联1-0国米

Evertomfc(未知主队球迷):卢卡库下半场是要代表国米出场了?(Lukaku comes on for inter at halftime?)

drizzt001(爱尔兰球迷):如果国米踢得还是这么莽撞的话,曼联就得提高卢卡库的要价了!(If Inter insist on being cunts United should up Lukaku's price in response.)

三扑点球,狼队点球大战胜曼城

McWomble(狼队球迷):说实话,英超亚洲杯冠军才是最有分量的英超冠军!(Let's be honest, this is probably the most prestigious Premier League trophy in the world am I right?)

SmoothVag(未知主队球迷):利物浦甚至都没有机会赢它呢!(Liverpool didn't even come close.)

V_Vutha(未知主队球迷):瓜迪奥拉就是不行,离开梅西连英超亚洲杯都赢不了!(Fraud. Can’t win the PL Asia trophy without Messi.)

TigerMask18(曼城球迷):瓜瓜,谢谢你带来的美好回忆,但现在是时候说再见了!(Pep, thanks for the memories. But it's time to say Goodbye.)

Subwayejse(利物浦球迷):...真的吗?(...Really?)

勇夺非洲杯,阿尔及利亚1-0塞内加尔

Sgdbdjos(甘冈球迷):看来我在法国是睡不着觉了。(Rip my sleep in France.)

(注:法国有大量阿尔及利亚裔移民)

Pashazz(莫斯科中央陆军球迷):巴黎今天怕要被摧毁了…(Paris will be destroyed today.)

TeKaeS(巴黎圣日耳曼球迷):握日哦,算了,反正今天也没打算要睡觉的。(ah fuck, didn't want to sleep tonight anyway.)

Notorious6(未知主队球迷):梅西也不过就是阿根廷马赫雷斯而已!(Messi is just the Argentinian Mahrez though.)

ThatBlackGuy_(肯尼亚球迷):这比赛还是比“权力的游戏”大结局要好看一点的…(Better entertainment than the final season of Game Of Thrones.)

好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!

分享到:

非常抱歉!